Ek kunwara phir gaya maara

Last month end we friends attended a wedding reception of an engineering classmate. He lives in UK currently. Many of the guys in our group are scattered due to job related postings so I had written a mail to the group just to cheer up people who had missed attending the event. Posting it here to keep this mail stored on a shared site so that anyone of us can visit it in future even if jobs and mail ids’ keep on changing.

********************************

From: Sudeep

To: “Ajit”, “Anky”, “Darya”, “Dukkya”, “Bhopya”, “Amdya”, “JP”, “Shirish”, “Suraj”, “Babaji”

Date: Tue, Jun 2, 2009

Hey guys or should I say Hey COETians :p

Wassup? Most of you missed attending JP's wedding reception on the 31st so thought to write down a detailed mail of the entire event so that you can relive the moment, virtually. After much discussion among the group of 11, finally only 4 could make it to the venue and the 5th one being JP himself. I am sure that by the end of this mail you would be either happy not attending with us or repenting for the same reason :D.

As decided over mails we were to meet at Amdya's place at 6:45. Much to our surprise Amdya was the first one to reach his home and a greater surprise that he was watching Da Vinci Code on his computer. I am sure that the movie must be an adult version of the original because I can't imagine Amdya all alone at home and watching Robert Langdon and Sophie, running across the Grand Louvre, completely dressed. Shirish, as usual, was late by around half an hour. Ok fine.. mostly I am the one who is late but this time I was the first one (leaving Amdya aside) to reach. Later someone had initiated the topic that I have become punctual after marriage, but someone else (yes, yours truly) successfully changed the topic. Now that it was clear, after a few calls, that only Amdya, myself, Ajit and Shirish would be going to the reception we quickly discussed about the wedding gift for JP. Amdya was the first one to suggest - his personal hard drive with his complete pr0n collection (spelling altered so that office id's don’t block the mail). 'His complete' in the sense, which he has collected diligently over the past few years. We had a good laugh over this suggestion and then Shirish suggested that we (mainly Amdya) gift JP a pillow. For those who are wondering whether a pillow signifies something nasty or $exually explicit, please hold on to your vivid imaginations. Pillow was suggested after the (in)famous 'Pillowgate scandal' at JP's room after Amdya's highly intoxicated state and later JP being (almost) pushed to tears saying "Arre! Amdya ne mere pillow ki waat laga di" in his inimitable style. Ajit was of the opinion that we would be embarrassing JP by gifting him in front of other people since it was specifically mentioned in the invitation card not to bring bouquets/gifts. But the others were already wondering how embarrassed he might be seeing us among all the erudite people there, so that thought was scratched out immediately. Thanks Shirish for mentioning about my initiative for the gift in another mail thread but actually it was Bhopya who had instructed me on phone to get a gift since JP would be leaving abroad and we were not sure how soon he would be meeting us again. Amdya blurted out Planet M in between and we 4 headed towards the music store to see if we could get something for the music lover JP. As Amdya and I were skimming through movie titles under the Romantic genre, Shirish insisted that we get some C-grade Bollywood movies. He also pro-actively fished out a list from his pocket which featured movies like Chetana, Radha Ki Jawani, Shaadi Basanti Ki Honeymoon Gabbar Ka etc. Sensibility prevailed and we bought Notting Hill, If Only, Music & Lyrics, 'i-can't-remember-the-name' and The Pursuit of Happyness**.

Then we headed for the venue with Ajit driving the car, Amdya sitting beside him and Shirish and myself in the backseat. Talks went on from Darya's accident (a new version was created of the incident since Ajit was not aware, sorry Babaji you were not the originator of this version like the other 3 versions :p) to Andaz Apna Apna. Most of the funny lines were re-delivered from the movie. Aila Juhi Chawla to Yeh Teja Teja kya hai, yeh Teja Teja. It was decided that we should all gather at someone's place and watch the historic movie together. Maybe after the T20 WC final. During the dialog deliveries we lost the diversion near the venue and had to go a few kilometers extra for taking the next turn towards the venue. While heading for the next turn we spotted Sadanand Residency, a huge building glowing with lights. A voice in the car said "Is the venue Sadanand Resorts or Sadanand Residency?". He he he.. so we decided to check out both the places and halted near the Residency building first. The car parking gave an impression that very few people would be inside the building so it was decided that 2 of us would go in and ask for JP :D. No one voluntarily came forward, so we went to Sadanand Resorts, which fortunately was the correct location.

When we entered the reception hall on the 2nd floor a single known voice ARRREEE!!! boomed through the crowd in front of us. Guess what guys, it was Mehta. Not the Electronics professor, but Pratik Mehta. It was quite (initially pleasant) surprising to see him there as no one from us knew that he was back in India. This guy has moved from Sweden to Switzerland to Germany to USA and currently he is in Austria. Yeah we also initially thought that his 'exploits', which we had heard during the year after our graduation, were the reasons for the countries to expel him but he has been around the world for various reasons like internship, studies and jobs (the regular ones). This guy will give a very tough fight to our original loudspeaker K.D. We guys were seated in the hall and Mehta, looking towards the stage, asked (should be read as shouted at) JP, who was posing for the camera, "Oye JP, change your position. Kya raat ko hi positions badlega kya?". The initial thought of JP being embarrassed by us was instantly washed away :-). With Mehta as company, naturally the topics of discussion were how-Mehta-accurately-told-us-about-adult-movie-timings-during-engg and how we all had troubled all professors of our college. The conversations as usual involved professors JSK, Nagoshe, Chinni, Chirmule etc. We also recollected how JSK had cried during one lecture and how Ranga had confessed of throwing the chalk towards Modak (which actually had not hit him) :D.

The ambience of the entire venue was very nice. A good thing was that the crowd was limited so the bride and groom could talk to every person on the stage at a comfortable length of time. We were not aware that JP had invited A R Rehman to play in the background. Rehman was performing exactly in front of the venue and when we were having food on the terrace we could see the Balewadi stadium lit up brightly and dazzling fireworks along with Rehman's music. The food was wonderful, esp. the non-vegetarians found it finger-licking good :-). JP and Nilshia were looking beautiful in the traditional wear and were smiling throughout the entire ceremony. We all wish the couple to smile like this forever and have a nice married life.

We clicked a few weird (actually these should be called natural) photographs which I am mailing in a few minutes. While driving back to Pune, Amdya was either sleepy or scared in the front seat coz he mentioned a couple of times to Ajit "Kasla raanti chalavtoy gaadi". In the backseat Shirish and I were stuck on Paresh Rawal's line from Daud, "Imandar baap ka jaandaar beta, roz use karta hai Colgate".

Darya, Sudeep, Dukkya and JP are the names which have been scratched out from the Eligible Bachelors' List. Who will be the next one? By the way, if you are not aware one of our good friends outside our group, Tathya/Narya is getting engaged to a Mumbai girl. Going by the fact that I have troubled him a lot I am sure that he won't invite me to the wedding. Nor do I see Shirish and Babaji getting an invite. So who ever will be attending it please do mention what happened to Elsa ;-).

** My company had screened The Pursuit of Happyness for us. Before the screening, one of my colleagues came into my cubicle and asked us, "You guys are not coming to watch the prostitue of happiness?". Had I written the spelling of coming as cumming (like many spell it in text messages), it would have led to an entirely different connotation for the question, right?

P.S.: In case you are wondering how I have managed to write so much, well I possess a skill known as multi-tasking. I assign all tasks (including mine) to multiple junior resources. Multi-tasking is in ;-).

******************************************

Have a great weekend everyone!

Bo down!

Dear terrorist friend,

How are you doing? Glad to say that long time no see. But I thought maybe you will be showing up soon somewhere as my country goes into parliamentary election mode. Oh ho ho hello hello this letter is for the external terrorist and not the internal terrorist as Sonia had quoted. God save me from raking up any controversy on this blog. I am not sure how interested you are in the political scenario but sometimes watching the mud-slinging between the political leaders is fun. ‘Sometimes’ by the way means just 20 minutes of your day otherwise you can get hooked up to the television set 24x7. There is a vicious circle of slandering doing rounds, literally. The head of one party targets the prime minister in his speech. Then one family defends the PM and in turn targets the party head. The party head’s supporters then dig in the origins of the political family. Then the other parties go left (pun intended) and right clobbering everyone. Phew!

So what is your plan of action for the next 1 month? Nothing, you say!!! Ahh.. I get it, I get it. We already have our politicians who are on the verge of killing us so we really don’t need your services. We have a Mumbai blast accused person as a national secretary of a political party. We were a bit lucky that the Supreme Court put a stay on his contesting the elections this time. Then we have a candidate who took cue from inflammatory speeches by others and found himself behind the bars when he gave one. By the way this young man had given false education details reports tell us. Tch tch tch! Maybe you should cool your heels and let these people do your job staying within the country. We do have some good contestants this time also but I don’t think they will get elected or hardly a few will reach the doors of the parliament house.

But let me tell you that in case you want global attention then instead of targeting the elections go for IPL. The T20 cricket festival has been shifted to South Africa. I won’t go in detail why it was shifted from India because you already know that some of your colleagues had attacked a cricket team in my neighbouring country. Everyone will be glued to the television sets till next month and most probably everyone would be watching the cheerleaders than bickering politicians. Sad maybe, but true.

By the way friend in case you are not married and looking for someone to tie a knot with then you can take part in Rakhi ‘Indian Jade Goody’ Sawant’s search for a husband. I bet it will be fun; not for you but for us.

Till next time... tada!

-------------------------------------

EDIT: Urging all the Indian citizens to vote for the right candidate. For Pune, the date is 23rd April so please cast your vote as it is precious. Thanks!

When will enough be really enough?

Dear Terrorist Friend,

I know you would be smiling reading the words dear and friend thinking that you have got one more stupid person to carry out a fidayeen attack. But I want you to think that I am your friend so that we can embrace and then I can rip your stomach off with bagh nakh with me visualizing that I am Shivaji and you are Afzal Khan muahahahahaha! I prefer that you ought to be tortured to death and not killed in an encounter. Yesterday I received a mail which had a presentation attached along with. It had pictures and names of all the soldiers of my nation who laid down their life defending Mumbai. The presentation depicted these brave men as heroes and on the last slide it had a photo of one of the Mumbai attackers. Beside that image it was written that “You might be a hero to someone but you definitely are not human”. I agree with the last part of the line because I read in newspapers that you did not even spare the stray dogs which were barking at the railway terminus. You mercilessly killed every living thing which came in your way. A person capable of doing such a thing would have been brainwashed since a long long time. I have full sympathy for your parents and especially for your mother, who must be cursing herself for giving birth to such a scoundrel. But yes I really think that you deserve some praise for planning this attack. Before this attack you used to target the common man and a few days of mourning later no one ever talked about the killings or bothered to secure the borders. This time you attacked the elite people and the tourists especially the westerners. And everyone can see the outrage of this. The streets are flooded with people carrying banners against you all and the politicians. Well you all would have sufficed because the politicians come under your banner. We have seen heads rolling down on pretext of ‘moral responsibility’ and thankfully the Rajs’, the Uddhavs’ and the other rogues who usually put Mumbai under threat have gone hiding. I heard a few days back somewhere that this time the public outcry will make the politicians aware that they can be held responsible for such attacks and the masses will rise to protect the nation. Let me tell you that I was an optimistic guy but somewhere down the last few years I have given up the optimism and embraced reality. I don’t think that the politicians of India will think good for the people. I don’t think that security will be beefed up to prevent such attacks. The common man and the elite person will go back to do his/her normal routine. All news channels will gear up for the coming elections. Everyone’s focus will be back to the upcoming cricket series against England. The politicians will be back to their mudslinging game blaming the rival parties. Basically everyone will be back doing his own business and you will be back to plotting another attack at some another place. But let me remind you that such attacks won’t cut India into pieces. No matter how much we fight amongst ourselves we are a nation. Ours is the country having the largest democracy in the world and sooner or later when the endurance limit exceeds people like me will take up arms if need be and barge into your country. Then it wouldn’t matter to us whether your country is in the neighbourhood or is a far flung country. We would not sneak in and I promise you that we will take care to wipe away the entire spoilt race of yours. The innocent will be spared and respected and the guilty would be punished. After that the world will live in peace. I have that much of optimism left in me.

Yours truly

A friend turning into a fiend

26 letters make an alphabet

Letter writing is an art but the timing of the letter to be written and delivered is more important. One who masters this, is a real artist.

Will the age in profile get updated automatically?

Dear Sudeep,

First of all Happy Birthday :)) (yep 2 days in advance). I bet that a letter on birthday would have reminded you of the teacher in that social-activity school (I even bet you can’t remember his name coz you are bad at it.. he he) who wrote hand-written letters to all children on their b’days. His letters were so awesome not only for the reason that his hand-writing was good but he used to convey his messages so well and every child wanted to do something for the country after reading those letters. They definitely were sermons and today this letter for you is aimed to be on similar lines. Don’t flinch coz you need one now and you know it but I know that you will still deny it.

You yourself know that everyone matures (as Prachi said a better word than saying getting old) and learns as each and every moment progresses and I know you have done too. How you laugh at some of the silly things you did sometime back and at same time look proudly at some of the things achieved over this year. It is good to ponder a bit over the past but what I would suggest is take a look what the future holds for you. Remember the saying from the book Who Moved My Cheese?:

Movement in a new direction helps you find your possibilities

I am not hinting at changing your job but certainly you know what I am talking about and the thoughts which are always at the back of your mind should come out in form of some concrete action. Remember what R was saying to everybody working in the IT industry when you had just joined this company and you overlooked her statement thinking it would apply for you. Now that you find yourself in that position today I know her words are ringing loudly in your ears. What have you decided on it? I don’t want to know what have you decided on it but I want to see some action on that front. So get your lazy ass off that seat and work on it. Let me remind you of another saying.. a Chinese proverb to be precise

Great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes

Now it is totally your responsibility to decide which category you would like to be in.

Before ending this letter, one mom-like instruction: DRIVE CAREFULLY. I need not see another post like last time. Also don’t think you are a great actor that you successfully pretended innocent for not having pollution under control (PUC) certificate of the bike in front of the policeman. You simply bored him for half hour to get away without a ticket and no bribe :P. So get the PUC thing done too and soon. Ok now before this letter seems like a to-do list let me end this by another saying.. yes another one and guess who said it.. Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin & Hobbes.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently

While you mull over this let me wish you again a very happy b’day and have a great time.

Yours truly,
Who else but you only

---------

EDIT: I don’t know how much this makes sense to you all but I needed this dose from myself. Thanks for your wishes in case you wish.. err.. i meant in case I am not able to reply :P

Suffering from high fever!!

Dear Brad & Angelina,

Hoping that this letter will find you in the best of your health and good spirits despite the paparazzi hounding both of you everywhere you go. The national capital and some other cities are currently in the grip of dengue fever and chikungunya but thanks to both of you my city is being treated to a better thing, the ‘Brangelina fever’. You both are the talk of the whole town, the newspapers are going gaga over you and all other things have just taken a backseat. We all have forgotten what punishments or acquittals the accused in the Mumbai bomb blasts are being rewarded. One of the politicians I love to hate, Kanshiram’s slow murder (oops it is shown as natural death, right? How will you know.. anyways) went into oblivion like his deceased body did. Even the media grabber Laloo was thrown in the inner pages of the newspaper despite some good turn of events for the railways. Many people still don’t know the schedule of Champions Trophy. You would say what a big deal in not knowing which match is scheduled when, but just to imagine this in a cricket crazy place is something which surprises me. No one knows the name of even a single cricket player of the ‘new look’ Zimbabwe team but everyone knows the names of your kids and from where did they come. I mean the place from where they came of course.

As I sit here in my cubicle and look out of the window I can see the hotel in which you both are staying. You both must be wondering (esp. Angie I hope) that in spite of being so near why I haven’t yet come to meet you. Well I had decided that no matter how much workload I had, I would definitely find some time to drop in for a cuppa of coffee. But, after seeing the video of Angelina’s bodyguard gripping the neck of a British photographer I dropped my plans after closing my already dropped lower jaw. I think I will try my luck of catching a glimpse of both of you when you decide to take another ride in the auto-rickshaw. With one personal experience and in general observation I used to think foreigners are scared when they sit in the rickshaw and are driven through the traffic in Pune, but the rickshaw driver in your case was more scared seeing the photographers jostling for pictures. So I guess it would be highly impossible to see how Brad and Angelina look in person even though you would be here for around a month.

Anyways, might be we by chance meet up at some traffic signal. Just make sure you don’t hit my bike with your convoy like you hit the teenager this week after jumping a red signal. I hope you are not worried about that incident. I can assure you that people break signals everyday here, so you definitely are not the odd ones’ out. Some Indian superstars have not just hit but crushed many a lives on the roads and till date they are roaming scot-free. In your case the guy was not even injured, so rest assured you can continue with the shooting of the film in the city. It was my love for you (Brad that was for Angelina and not you) that I took out time to pen down this letter when I should be filling in software release sheets which my client is impatiently demanding. Please don’t tell my blogger friends that I wrote you a letter even in this heavy work schedule because I haven’t updated my blog since many days and not visited any blogs too.

P.S.: I seriously don’t mind the 15 extra minutes I have to spend in the traffic every morning while coming to office via your hotel.

P.P.S.: Any role in your movie? I will take less money even if it just a cameo role

Yours truly,
Sudeep :-)

Google shld sue them!

I will bring both those Russian n American kids to India n tell them look how awfully we are being censored (as if they aren’t in their countries but still). I hate this censorship coz then I have to surf thro proxies which makes surfing very slow.

On a serious note, this censorship issue is just to divert attention frm wht measures are being taken to curb terrorism. A blanket ban on sites is no way to deal with terrorism. In fact wht u will get is a rebellion within ur own ranks. Thnx to Aditi, got the mail id of President of India. It is presidentofindia@rb.nic.in in case u want to drop a mail to protest against the block. First I had thought of sending an invite of orkut to him so tht we could have settled this matter over a couple of scraps but then as it is I had to reply to my back-frm-vacn-happy-happy client so wrote a mail to the Prez as well. Here goes wht I wrote..

Respected Sir,

Hello! I severely condemn the terrorist attacks in Mumbai and J&K. Though we all, as common people, can’t do much against terrorism directly, we are quite sure that the government agencies are working round the clock to ensure that such acts don’t recur. Probably one of the measures taken by some government agency is blocking some sites which are said to be anti-India or pro-terrorists. Sorry that I haven’t gone through the whole list but one of the sites which has been blocked is blogspot.com on which many Indians have their personal blogs (blog = web + log). This is one of the best contemporary mediums of expressing our thoughts to the whole world. The nature of blogs ranges from personal to political and entertaining to educative. Being a blogger for the past one and a half year I have gathered tremendous knowledge and a group of great friends all over the world which I wouldn’t have if I were not blogging. There are some blogs which are helping the people affected by the recent bomb blasts. There have been blogs which have helped Tsunami victims too earlier. If all this is curtailed then there is really no meaning to our lives by just paying homage to the victims by maintaining silence for 2 minutes.

I do not disagree to the fact that some blogs might be intentionally created to threaten our nation’s security, but does that mean all blogs will be termed as anti-India and a blanket ban be imposed on them? Certainly NOT! As a citizen of India, I feel that I have the rights to express my views on my personal space and also the right to freedom of speech too. If my personal space is labeled as pro-terrorist then it indirectly means that the government is labeling me as a terrorist. If such is the case will I ever trust our own government? This is an earnest appeal to you to step into this matter and not let some agencies sweep off the issues under carpet. As the President of India, we all look up to you with great respect and a man who respects peoples’ rights. I am not sure you personally will be reading this mail, but whoever reads this and brings it to your notice will be helping all sane bloggers get back their blogs.
Thank you!

I know he won’t be reading this but lets hope he gets bombarded by such mails n then the freedom of speech n all stuff is restored back. I know ways to log in to blogspot since we are playing with proxies after the company blocked sites, but it is shameful tht for expressing my own views on my space I have to use a server in some country abroad. I think Google must sue the govt for the decline in their revenue. Wht say google? How much ‘cut’ do I get for this wonderful suggestion?

Also have joined a Blue Ribbon campaign. U can also display the image on ur page n check the sidebar for the Bloggers against censorship icon.

Meanwhile if u r stressed reading on the same topic on each n every blog then visit this link. Viewers are free to use their discretion to watch a few scenes. I hope this video is not the real scenario coz then I was thinking of calling blogspot customer care. Also let me know if the link is working coz it is .swf link n not .html link.

Letter to Dad!!!

It is my Dad’s b’day today. Wished him in the morning over phone coz he is in Himachal Pradesh right now. He doesn’t know I have a blog but wanted to write for him..

Dear Papa,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope u are in best of ur health n gud spirits inspite of the cold conditions at ur place. Mummy n I miss u a lot even though we talk to u everyday. I feel like running away frm here n come to Shimla just to give u a hug n wish u.. but just sending a greeting for the same. Hope it conveys my feelings to u n the luv n affection give u enuf strength n warmth to drag urself for one more year b4 u r transferred back here. Actually the strength is required by myself n mummy here coz we r the ones who need it to survive one whole year without u. But don’t u worry I m becoming strong enuf to make ur absence not felt to mummy n myself too. Yet I miss coming home n finding u sitting in the living room cracking up jokes or watching TV or for tht matter all things u do.

I can still remember tht after graduating I had told u tht I wont be doing anything for a year as I was very bored after studying for 4 yrs in engineering. U were so tensed tht u used to call up everyday n ask me wht my career plans were. Sorry to put u in tht situation.. but it was a time I desperately wanted a break. Now, it seems I m settling down, but yet I feel something is bubbling somewhere back in my mind to quit this job n do something else.. something different.. don’t know wht or don’t know where… when I figure it out will let u know. But, I could feel the excitement n satisfaction when I broke the news of my increment. One thing I want u to know is tht I m working in a software company. So next time we talk don’t ask me whether I know how to use Microsoft Word or Excel.. lollz.

Wish u a fantastic year ahead n make sure u avail a lot of holidays to visit home.

With lotz of luv
Sudeep

P.S.: Got some of ur Ladakh tour pics scanned