Butt obvious

One of my very good friends was smoking a lot of cigarettes a few years back and I tried and tried to get him quit smoking but failed. Failed in the sense, I could get him down to 12-13 a day from his count of 20. I considered this as an achievement till a girl walked into his life and when she asked him to cut down on the smoke he came down up to 2-3 a day. Now after a quite nasty break up he is back to around 15 a day. Talk about girl power!

Desktop Goddess # 15

Every moment spent with you

Something different, always something new

I watch you sleeping, I hear you sigh

Oh I even love the way you cry

Now every kiss is a season

And every touch keeps me believing

Girl you make it feel, like the first time

Like there's never been another

Girl you make it real, like the first time

Every time you lay down by my side

It's the first time

“We love you Shilpa” shouted the poster in the stadium and the person holding it danced frantically for the camera, probably to catch Shilpa’s eye to it. The whereabouts of the poster are not known but the Rajasthan Royals team must be headed out of South Africa after losing out of the semi-final race. The last year’s champions were not up to the mark this year even after a few wonderful last moment victories in the past two weeks. Maybe they (and Yashita) were missing all rounder Shane Watson. But I am not here to analyze RR’s performance; instead we will talk about their team owner Shilpa Shetty. Do you remember any super-hit movie starring this beautiful lady? Ok, I get your answer as you laugh and fall off from your seated position. My very first memory of watching Shilpa Shetty is in a song from her debut movie Baazigar, which was way back in 1993 and I was just 11 years old then. In a dance sequence of the song, she asks the hero to zip her shorts and SRK bends towards her and obliges by pulling the zip up. In those days we friends used to stare at the television screens with open mouths (more in an astonished way than lecherous) wondering if boys were socially and legally allowed to do such an act in public. 15 years after that incident we were enlightened that zipping up is not an illegal act but getting unbuttoned on a fashion ramp surely is and can land one in jail.

Acting skills or no acting skills, I confess that she is one hot babe. If I am asked to name a few hot and perfectly toned bodies in the film industry then definitely her name will be the first one in the list. Who can forget her Big Brother racism episode with Jade Goody? From that point of time, her life has catapulted to a dizzying height which Bollywood would not have given her. Then she came out with the yoga DVDs’ and later the Rajasthan Royals team stake. This goddess has been scaling new heights with each smart move. Shilpa might reach newer heights but her fondest memory for me would be the first time I saw her on screen in that Baazigar song.

Tarun, I am not sure if you like Shilpa Shetty but this one is dedicated to you. You had asked earlier if the DG series will stop post-marriage; I guess the answer lies in this post. Some things never change :-). Have a good weekend everyone!

Inspiration!

So after all the sessions and advertisements for voting, only 46 percent people voted from Pune. Mumbai also paints a similar voter turn-out picture. Seems people liked the ‘Jaago Re’ (wake up) campaign but decided to sleep over the polls. Initially I went to the wrong polling booth after reading half part of the address and mumbling “Ah! I know it”. Later I walked to the correct one as the parking lot was full and it would have been stupid to vacate my space and later finding no space at the new location. If there were so many vehicles, how come only 46% turn-out?? I noticed that last time there were far many (seemingly) educated people out there standing in queues to cast their votes. This time it was more of the lower class out there. Or at least that is what I felt. The most bizarre thing was when I showed my index finger to the lady who was applying ink, she demanded the middle one. Middle one? I wondered about the advertisement which urged youngsters to be proud to show the inked index finger rather than showing the middle one to the administration. I met a colleague on the way out and she said that photographs were being taken at her booth with the middle finger up showing the ink. Ha ha ha! A few days back the Mumbai election photographs showed many celebrities showing off their middle fingers. And some were laughing too. Anyways, 16^th May will decide the winners and I hope that competent contestants do win.

A good leader inspires people to have confidence in the leader; a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves.

Are you interested in cricket? Yes. Are you watching IPL? Yes. In case you have the answers as no then you are missing it big time. The point table is getting topsy-turvy with every match. It is really getting very difficult to predict the winner. I am rooting for Mumbai Indians like last time and sadly my team is sitting at 7^th spot out of the 8 teams. Sad indeed. Sigh! I am hoping against hope that they bounce back to form and win all the remaining matches to enter the semi finals stage. Sample these conversations in our company:

Guy1: It amazes me that Yusuf Pathan is a match winner in the IPL matches but when he plays for India he hardly scores.

Guy2: Well there is a very important reason behind it. The reason is ‘inspiration’.

Guy1: Hmm.. Shane Warne is a good captain.

Guy2: Nah! Shilpa Shetty is sexy. She makes everyone do her yoga thingie watching the DVD and the match winner gets to do a personal yoga session after the match. Carrots and stick approach, simple.

Guy1: Ha ha! Then why did the team lose the initial matches?

Guy2: Shilpa took her sister along with to South Africa and the guys got scared. But the baboons were not.

Guy1: Have you seen how sloppy is KKR’s fielding?

Guy2: Yeah, lack of inspiration.

Guy1: Hmm.. The captain himself has butterfingers.

Guy2: Nah! The team owner. Look at other teams like Punjab and Rajasthan. They get nice hugs after the matches. Remember how a guy had cried out on the field last year just because he did not get a hug. Incentives matter a lot. Are we working now? No. Why? Lack of incentives. Lack of inspiration. Simple.

Any sort of resemblance of guy2 with the blog owner is a mere co-incidence. Today’s match is between Mumbai Indians (my team) and Delhi Daredevils (wifey’s team). Looking at the current form of players of both teams, her team is going to thrash my team it seems. If her team wins I will have to cook the dinner and if my team wins then I will have to sleep on the couch. A contra-win-win situation eh? Quite an inspirational thought to leave for home.

She & Me – Part VI

This one was lying half-written since many days. The incident took place back about… mmmm 5 months back.

‘She’ is an ex-colleague of ‘Me’.

She (somewhere in her office): Hello!

Me (at his desk): Hey! Long time eh?

She: Yeah, loads of work in the new company :-(. Congrats on your engagement.

Me: Thanks :-)

She: Though it is hard to believe that YOU are getting married and that too with her

Me: He he he... nice guys get nice girls :-P

She: Nice girl I totally agree but nice guy?? *ahem*

Me: Ok ok.. how are you doing after your marriage? I hope you don’t beat your husband if he doesn’t cook well :-P

She: Grrr!! Anyways, marriage date?

Me: April first week.

She: Ohh… I won’t be able to attend :-(

Me: Why???

She: Will be on my honeymoon that time :-)

Me: You got married long time back! Honeymoon in April?

She: Well, we thought it is better to practice first at home and then go on a honeymoon. It is better to fail at home in the initial days rather than on a honeymoon :D

Me: Ha ha.. nice nice! I hope you guys have practiced a lot then :-P

She: Where are you guys going for your honeymoon?

Me: Nowhere! I mean we don’t have enough leaves sanctioned so joining back office after all the wedding functions are over

She: Liar! You changed your mind and want to practice first at home, isn’t it? :-P

Me: He he he…

 

Latest news is that ‘Me’ still hasn’t got any leaves sanctioned for a vacation but prefers to say that he is practicing because practice makes a man perfect :D

Edit:

Graffiti line for my whiteboard:

Did you know that a seven day honeymoon makes one week?