She & Me – Part VI

This one was lying half-written since many days. The incident took place back about… mmmm 5 months back.

‘She’ is an ex-colleague of ‘Me’.

She (somewhere in her office): Hello!

Me (at his desk): Hey! Long time eh?

She: Yeah, loads of work in the new company :-(. Congrats on your engagement.

Me: Thanks :-)

She: Though it is hard to believe that YOU are getting married and that too with her

Me: He he he... nice guys get nice girls :-P

She: Nice girl I totally agree but nice guy?? *ahem*

Me: Ok ok.. how are you doing after your marriage? I hope you don’t beat your husband if he doesn’t cook well :-P

She: Grrr!! Anyways, marriage date?

Me: April first week.

She: Ohh… I won’t be able to attend :-(

Me: Why???

She: Will be on my honeymoon that time :-)

Me: You got married long time back! Honeymoon in April?

She: Well, we thought it is better to practice first at home and then go on a honeymoon. It is better to fail at home in the initial days rather than on a honeymoon :D

Me: Ha ha.. nice nice! I hope you guys have practiced a lot then :-P

She: Where are you guys going for your honeymoon?

Me: Nowhere! I mean we don’t have enough leaves sanctioned so joining back office after all the wedding functions are over

She: Liar! You changed your mind and want to practice first at home, isn’t it? :-P

Me: He he he…

 

Latest news is that ‘Me’ still hasn’t got any leaves sanctioned for a vacation but prefers to say that he is practicing because practice makes a man perfect :D

Edit:

Graffiti line for my whiteboard:

Did you know that a seven day honeymoon makes one week?

Ek aankh maaru toh…

Last weekend I was thanking my stars that I rarely had a problem with my eyes till date coz I am really scared of anything bad related to eyes. Seeing people suffering from conjunctivitis in the company and wearing goggles all day long I prayed that the October heat doesn’t affect me and the conjunctivitis virus keeps away its eyes from me. But the Gods were not with me this time and I woke up this week with a swollen red eye... yeah only one eye so it was looking weird. But by evening both eyes were affected and 3 days I had to stay back at home till the infection had subsided. I also joined the goggle group in the company after that for a day until the eyes returned to normal size. The experience of having conjunctivitis for the first time was not so bad coz I had heard that eyes pain a lot and it becomes difficult to open up the eyes due to the sticky matter which comes out due to the infection. Luckily there was slight pain and almost nil sticky matter except that tears were rolling out so much that I felt that someone had left a faucet open in my head. Frankly speaking I was bored sitting at home… not that I mind holiday but sitting at home I neither could read nor sit in front of the TV or computer. So finally after laying down idle for a long time I decided to clean my cupboard... which is actually called my study cupboard but it is never used for anything remotely near to studies and instead I use it as a storing space... well my parents prefer to call it a dumping ground but that is a different story altogether. Even though it does look like a mess I can easily find a said thing lying in there but if it is neatly arranged then I just don’t like the look of it.

I started off with taking out all the things lying there one by one and in a matter of a couple of hours the whole room floor was bustling with things I hardly remember seeing them last time. Then cleaned the whole space and arranged the things properly… yeah properly as in a stacked manner. I mean I was going to be at home full time for the next couple of days so just throwing back the things in would have been hazardous to my health... not that it had any radioactive materials but just because mom was at home as well. I was sure that this look would last for just a couple of weeks so I didn’t mind rearranging the things. But I found some stuff which I wanted to mention. The first thing I got hold of was the Placement brochure of my engineering college. It was a namesake placement brochure because I can’t remember a single student getting placed while graduating using that book. My batch was one of the greatest batches of our college… ok fine I will be modest… it was the greatest and not ‘one of the’ :D. Where else you would get a batch that rarely went to the college, had their professors admitted in hospital for chest pain coz of the trouble the students gave, won accolades for the college in almost all the extra-curricular events but were lagging far behind in studies? I sat down sifting through the pages and was trying to remember which guy was doing what nowadays. Most of my batch mates are abroad doing their post-grads’ and I couldn’t recognize 2-3 people simply because I had never seen them on the playing ground where we all spent most of our time. I remembered the day when the college had called a photographer to click our photographs for the brochure and some guys had come dressed in suits. I had forgotten that a photography session was scheduled but was lucky to be in a shirt… I mean not in tee, not that I roam around topless.

Then I got my hands on an old black diary… no not the little black book kinds ;-) … but my company diary. Inside were scribbled dialogues for the skit we had performed on the Foundation Day. I sat down recollecting the time spent writing those dialogues with the co-hostess and how later she got hit on her head by a swinging door the day before the show and we had to search for a new hostess. A few pics of the show were uploaded here then.

I never throw my I-cards so found many of them from college to classes for engineering and then the CATIA course identity card I did after graduating but never collected the certificate. I also found my exam admit cards for 10th and 12th grade. It is fun watching the progress your face makes in the pics on all of these. It is not like the evolution of a Neanderthal man but still…

It was a good time spent sorting all the stuff and recollecting things related to them and for that time I totally forgot about my conjunctivitis as my eyes were busy looking at the fond memories. Still I have not yet opened the drawer containing my collection of rocks, newspaper cuttings, stamps, coins, matchboxes, greeting cards… I am definitely going to have trouble moving stuff when we shift to our new house in a couple of months.

By the way in case if anyone was wondering from the last post what’s on the whiteboard it is:

It was not conjunctivitis; those were the side-effects of a roving-eye

Every story has a line..

and every line has a story

One of my colleagues requested me to keep all my whiteboard lines saved somewhere and this is one place where I can easily do it though I have been clicking them as and when I change them. But some of the lines which came into my mind but did not make it to the board have to be mentioned somewhere. So here is first part of the lines I can remember.. will be updated as and when I have new ones. Disclaimer: I think all the lines are original but if there is any copyright infringement then yeah go ahead and sue me. Just make sure that I win the case :p. Many say that some of the lines are obscene but I would defend myself by saying that many say pornography is obscene but there are people who say it is an art. It is just a matter of one’s perception :D

It is almost 2 years that I had put up this one on my desktop in office and later had created a good one by merging some pics but sadly it got lost during the machine upgradation. But later didn’t do anything using pics until last week. It has been two and half years in this company and I am sitting in the same place since the first day and have had more than a dozen cubicle partners till date. Even now as teams are being shuffled people are being shifted to different places. So I used one of my childhood pics and added to it..

If you sit in the same place for a long time, you start thinking that you are the king.. or you really turn into one :-)

Sometime back my friend had forwarded me a text message which read..
‘Board outside a red light area: Married men not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy.’
This message had me smiling for its sheer creative brilliance. Later I wrote..

Seen outside a whore-house: Tit for that

I have been attending workshops of my class on weekends, and trust me after every workshop I feel attempting the upcoming CAT exam is even more difficult. One such geometry workshop later we guys came out swearing and some of us decided to grab a beer at a nearby bar. I too joined in coz it had a TV set and India-Australia match was being aired. Since I don’t drink one of my friends came up with a nice nickname for me, ‘tea-toddler’ instead of teetotaler.. he he. I remember someone asking me in a party the reason for not drinking. “Driving?” he had asked. I had said, I don't drink so that the sloshed up gals have a sober guy to make out with, which later went on the whiteboard. Now you know why the gals were drinking a lot that night ;-)

Then there was a government ban in some country on kissing and my take on that had left Keshi & Kathy hot.. with anger of course :D
If it is not allowed to kiss in public places is it ok in private...?

Ha ha.. I got the most brickbats in company for this one.

Pam and Rick got a marriage license this week and there was a discussion in my cubicle on the movie King Solomon’s Mines so..
If you can’t be King Solomon then give a try to be Rick Salomon

If you don’t know who Rick Salomon is then you will have to catch the next flight to fly down to Paris and stay for one night there :D

Have a nice weekend :-)

Marriages are made in heaven.. or is it Taj Blue Diamond

Came from Kashid on Sunday night (more on the outing in next post). Was totally void of energy but somehow got up on Monday n went to the office. After coming to the office I noticed in the washroom how horrible I was looking (tht day). The french beard i had was almost covered by the rest of unshaven part. Had worn a tee n a old pair of loose jeans, which could have easily slipped off if the belt was not in place. Could find no excuses for avoiding the work which is piling up, courtesy the pre-poned schedule of execution phase (I hate preparation phase now). Somehow as the day was reaching to an end, I got a call. (Not frm God like in 1 nite@Call centre coz i dont work there)


Anyways, the call was frm home. Mom was telling me to have food outside coz she was going to attend a marriage in Taj Blue Diamond. My mom has now stopped asking me to accompany for the marriages since last 4 years. Lets begin frm there...FLASHBACK --- I am originally a Rajasthani. But, our generations have settled in Maharashtra n 99% of my frnds are Maharashtrians since childhood. So, except the language i dont know anything about my supposedly native place. Now, in our community marriages used to take place in childhood. After modernisation has come into place, the age level has increased. But, still in some families gals are married off at 'bout 18 n guys around 20-21. Luckily my parents r not in this grp of thinkers n have not given a thought for mine. So, whenevr I went to attend marriages around 4-5 yrs back, I was cornered by ppl eager to give their daughter's hand. I m very opposed to this system n so after attending one such marriage, came home n a swear word slipped frm my mouth against an elderly person. So tht was the beginning of my mom not asking me to accompany later for any marriages (including my cousins')... n I am still grateful for tht.


So I agreed to have food outside (though frankly I wanted to go to Blue Diamond.. but no) n resumed my work. Around 20-25 min ltr my mama (maternal uncle) called me up n said tht he was waiting below my office n wanted me to come down. When I went there, he was in a car sitting with my mom n mami (uncle’s wife). They all were going for tht wedding nhe was insisting tht I too go along with them. I explained to him tht I was in no mood for attending a wedding but he didn’t budge. So I pulled on a sweater n went along. (I mean went up the stairs, luckily had a sweater in my locker n then went down) The hotel was buzzing with ppl in resplendent clothes which made me more n more awkward n giving me the feeling of being an odd man out. Soon enuf as the news spread tht Dr. Sharma’s son who has finished his graduation n is currently working is here.. I was literally dragged in a corner by 2 men n then started a barrage of questions Wht I was doing currently n then the date of birth n stuff like tht. In the mean time I was thinking how to while away 1 more hour so I started looking frm the corner of my eye at a grp of gals hoping to find a gud looking one n coincidentally she being one of those men’s daughter. But to no avail… atleast tht would have kept me busy during the wedding ceremony. Generally I restrain myself frm cracking jokes in front of such ppl, but then one of those gentlemen seemed cool enuf to bear tht so.... My mom had told him tht I wanted to study further for my PG n had no intention of marrying so soon. He countered tht with saying tht the right age for a boy to marry is 20-21. I shook his hand n said tht “I am desperate for marriage since last year but my mom wont let me think of it. Pls tell her to let me marry” n after saying tht took off frm there to meet another relative. I didn’t dare to look back at mom’s face… he he he. The wedding ceremony was over n when my turn came to congratulate the couple I was confused to whom to hand over the gift. Simply coz I wasn’t aware frm whose side I was attending. Lolzzz. But since the bride was shy n looking down (they have to act like tht???) I handed the gift to the groom, had food n then left for home.


Don’t know whether I will be attending any marriages in near future but…

Old ppl used to annoy me at weddings by pinching my cheeks n saying u r next. But they stopped doing tht when I did the same to them at funerals