Look who is talking!

Unmesh: “Dude, there are around 1000 people here, but no one seems to be interested in talking like we guys did”.
I laughed and said that I have been wondering the same thing in my new office. Unmesh was my desk partner in my previous company (NS). It was his first day in a new office and he was calling me up in his lunch hour. Actually it was not only Unmesh complaining, but almost everyone who had left NS found the chilling silence a bit more than uncomfortable. My cubicle was probably filled up with the most talkative persons in the company and we did enjoy those years. There were hardly any moments in the last 3-4 years that witnessed a pin drop silence. I have been in the new company for around 3 weeks now and still it is difficult to find people to talk to on completely silly topics. Everyone seems lost in their own world. There is very less work these days. A friend asked me last week about my new job. I told him that one of my uncles would call this a paid honeymoon; but no work, no talk and no net access makes Sudeep a dull and bored boy man youth :P. What I have been doing these days is doing some technical reading, studying people (and their habits/behaviour) sitting nearby (very few pretty girls to check out) and keep checking my clock now and then for calculating how many more hours I need to spend before leaving. I also utilized the free time to recollect funny incidents in the previous company and made a list of people with whom I have worked in the projects over the last 5 years.

I noticed that the average age of employees in NS was around 23-25, so they were chilled out, were happy to go out on a trip, or were not shouldering a lot of responsibilities at home so could fine time to enjoy outside the confines of their houses. There was still a small child somewhere in the grown up body. In the bigger companies like my current one, the average age of employees might be around 32-38. So what we have here are people who spend time slogging at work and want to spend a peaceful weekend with spouse (and children). There is a child in there, but they are convinced that it is too late to go do something crazy. In just three weeks I have seen so many people having a lonely lunch in the cafeteria. In NS if someone sat for a lunch there would be 3-4 people joining him/her just to give company. The employee strength ratio for NS to the new company is 1:1000 in case you are wondering. I used to go to NS on a bike, now I take a bus which takes around 70-80 minutes one way. People have iPods plugged to their ears, some sleep or some bookworm types try reading in spite of the jerks on the road, but no one talks. I met a friend from NS (he had left NS around 2 years back and joined a bigger company) who was a very jolly fellow. This guy had mellowed down so much that I doubted if I was meeting his twin brother. I asked him why he was so serious to which he replied that he had forgotten how to enjoy life along with enjoying the work, and the work culture in the new company had moulded him that way. For a moment I was scared I too will stop talking shit and become a brain-wired-techno geek. I don’t know what that means, but I guess you get the drift. I am trying to adjust myself to this new change. I don’t rule out a possibility of me standing on my desk and dancing so that the serious ones have something to laugh at, but for now I will maintain a silent desk and keep my hopes alive for some chilled out colleague(s) to come by.

I guess changes in life are inevitable; how much we change for good is what would matter finally.

So this was written when I was 3 weeks old in the company. Now six months have passed after the joining date. In the first project there was not much work to do, and then I got my team changed on request. The new team has many members and each one individually handles a project with teams from other companies. I too do the same now so the ‘talk’ factor is still an issue for me as everyone is busy in their own project work. But the situation is not as bleak as it was in the initial days, though I cannot say I have made a friend here for life like I had made many from the previous organization. I hope the New Year brings in many more positive changes for me and for everyone. Wish you a very happy New Year.

Drained out!

He: What gift would you like to have next month?
She: Rachel and Tim went to the garden last weekend. I also want to see the factory building.
He: Sorry sweetheart, I don’t think we can afford that trip now. I will still check if we can manage it. You better think of an alternative before next week though.

He remembered this conversation umpteenth time over the last year. He also vividly remembered the tinge of disappointment in her eyes and then the smile on the brave face she put forth. Last year he was not able to arrange the trip because of the financial constraints. This year was a bit different. He smiled. He had managed to arrange the funds this year and he planned to surprise her. A few well timed calls to well placed resources and he had managed to secure the passes to an inside tour of the factory, as everyone called that place. He knew she was going to be delighted. He himself had wished to see the factory since a long time. He tried to remember the last time he had got wet in real water. He was 7 years old then. The planet was not yet colonized by the Mars visitors. He remembered getting drenched in the rain with his younger brother. Everyone used to have a bath every day with water. People used to drink water to quench their thirsts. The thought almost made him feel the water gliding on his lips and his throat ran dry. He took out the factory box and quickly popped a capsule in his mouth. He knew that no amount of capsules could give that satiating feeling the real water used to give. He looked out of the window of his office cabin. Even after standing 133 storeys high up all he could see out were vehicles. He couldn’t even see the sky or the next building through the thick vehicle envelope. Almost 20 years back since the day the global warming had affected Earth in the worst way, Mars inhabitants had swooped down on the planet. The aliens had managed to convince all the countries to allow them to run the Earth system, as if the nations had any other option left with them. The planet now had become an entirely different place to live in. Technologically advanced, but thrown backwards in many other ways. Robots were being used widely in all places. Oxygen and water intakes were turned into translucent green coloured capsules, which had to be bought from the government agencies. Inhalation and exhalation were only terms now. Food was insipid. A solace was that his favourite burger was still available once a week, though the friendly blue eyed waitress was now replaced by a robot with no emotions. Almost everything was under the control of the alien government. Even the white fluffy clouds he had seen in his childhood. The aliens had converted an entire nation land into a water producing industry. Clouds were generated using an advanced cryogenic machine and rains were brought down in the same area on demand. The major part of water was then used to mass produce the capsules and the remaining part went into the cloud generation activity. The government needed funds to run this and so it had separated an area where people could pay a premium price to feel the rain and touch the water. He had heard from Tim about his experience where they went in a garden with real flowers and trees, soaked in the rain and sat for a couple of hours watching the water stream flowing nearby. Tim’s description matched with the agency’s site offering for the tour. He looked at the passes sitting on the desk. He imagined himself and his wife dancing in the rain. He imagined both of them looking skywards with hands outstretched and drops falling on their faces. He saw him embracing his wife and feeling her wet curls on his cheek and then he saw himself kissing her moist lips. The kiss-in-rain, which they had read only in books and seen in some movies retrieved from archives. It was going to come true in a weeks’ time. He couldn’t wait to go home and show her the passes. He pulled up the segway and glided down till the parking lot. Climbing in the passenger seat of his aerial vehicle, he was greeted by the voice of the robot driver. He pushed the Home button and the vehicle joined in the air traffic with a jolt.
His eyes opened up. He was sitting upright in his bed and he was cold with sweat trickling down on his body. His wife flicked on the bedside lamp.
“You alright honey? Dreamt something bad?”
“I guess so.”
She handed him a glass of water from the table. He sipped and felt the water running down his throat. He looked at her. Her golden locks were falling on her bare shoulders.
“I love you. I am sorry I stopped you from getting drenched today. This weekend we will enjoy the rain together.”
“What?”
“Yes, and we are going to plant a few saplings to avoid global warming eat up this planet.”

P.S.: I was stuck in a traffic jam last year in the rains and had a thought if we could control the rains in future to fall on specific days in specific areas. I had heard about cloud seeding, but my thought was not just brining rainfall when needed/desired but also control the actual one. So I had started with a thought of a couple enjoying artificial rains in a year when rains were controlled by humans, but somehow work and procrastination held the upper hand for an entire year till I read a question in one of Yashita’s recent posts about making the rain fall only in the catchment areas during peak traffic hours. I tried looking up my machine data for the draft I had written earlier, but couldn’t find it so I started again with a blank page and this post came out. Looking at it after completion I know this is definitely not what I had initially in my mind last year, but the thoughts drifted and well, here we are.

She & Me – Part VII

‘Me’ visited a local branch of the marriage registration office for filing a request for a marriage certificate. He had filled up the form correctly and had checked and re-checked the list of attested documents to be attached just to make sure that all papers were in order.

Me was waiting at the office for ‘She’, the lady who checks and accepts the marriage registration form.

She (after arriving 1 hour late): Yes?

Me: I wanted to apply for a marriage certificate

She: Have you already married and want to apply for a certificate or you want to marry here and then get it registered?

Me: I have married a few months back and I have brought this form and the necessary documents

She: Do you live in this area?

Me: Yes

She: Ok, show me the form

She: (mumbling and ticking) Age… Proof… Address… Proof… Photographs

She: What is this? (pointing to the city of the marriage venue)

Me: Gurgaon

She: Is this outside our Pune city?

Me: (trying to suppress a smile) Yes, it is in Haryana

She: Outside Pune city but within Maharashtra state, right?

Me: (suppressing my laughter) Err… no it is in the state of Haryana

She: Oh ok! Gurgaon… hmmm… this is in Punjab state, right?

Me: (suppressing wtf! expression) No it is in Haryana state

She: Ok then you will have to file the request in that city itself or the District Collector office of our city

Me: Well ok… I will take this form to the DC office then

She: No this form is for marriages held within our city. You will have a separate form to fill up at the DC office.

Me: But nothing has been mentioned on this form about venue of marriage!!

She: (smiling)

Me: I understand that the 100 bucks I paid for this form have gone waste

She: (still smiling)

‘Me’ later went to the DC office and found that the ‘marriages-outside-city’ form was fortunately free; though that form also didn’t have a mention about venue of marriage clause. A few trips to the DC office for lack of address proof (I guess officer’s hints of a bribe) and Me’s form was finally submitted (without shelling a single rupee in form of bribe). A month later three witnesses will have to sign a declaration at the DC office and then ‘Me’ will get his marriage registered and a marriage certificate. Now ‘Me’ can ‘legally’ touch his wife eh?

Inspiration!

So after all the sessions and advertisements for voting, only 46 percent people voted from Pune. Mumbai also paints a similar voter turn-out picture. Seems people liked the ‘Jaago Re’ (wake up) campaign but decided to sleep over the polls. Initially I went to the wrong polling booth after reading half part of the address and mumbling “Ah! I know it”. Later I walked to the correct one as the parking lot was full and it would have been stupid to vacate my space and later finding no space at the new location. If there were so many vehicles, how come only 46% turn-out?? I noticed that last time there were far many (seemingly) educated people out there standing in queues to cast their votes. This time it was more of the lower class out there. Or at least that is what I felt. The most bizarre thing was when I showed my index finger to the lady who was applying ink, she demanded the middle one. Middle one? I wondered about the advertisement which urged youngsters to be proud to show the inked index finger rather than showing the middle one to the administration. I met a colleague on the way out and she said that photographs were being taken at her booth with the middle finger up showing the ink. Ha ha ha! A few days back the Mumbai election photographs showed many celebrities showing off their middle fingers. And some were laughing too. Anyways, 16^th May will decide the winners and I hope that competent contestants do win.

A good leader inspires people to have confidence in the leader; a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves.

Are you interested in cricket? Yes. Are you watching IPL? Yes. In case you have the answers as no then you are missing it big time. The point table is getting topsy-turvy with every match. It is really getting very difficult to predict the winner. I am rooting for Mumbai Indians like last time and sadly my team is sitting at 7^th spot out of the 8 teams. Sad indeed. Sigh! I am hoping against hope that they bounce back to form and win all the remaining matches to enter the semi finals stage. Sample these conversations in our company:

Guy1: It amazes me that Yusuf Pathan is a match winner in the IPL matches but when he plays for India he hardly scores.

Guy2: Well there is a very important reason behind it. The reason is ‘inspiration’.

Guy1: Hmm.. Shane Warne is a good captain.

Guy2: Nah! Shilpa Shetty is sexy. She makes everyone do her yoga thingie watching the DVD and the match winner gets to do a personal yoga session after the match. Carrots and stick approach, simple.

Guy1: Ha ha! Then why did the team lose the initial matches?

Guy2: Shilpa took her sister along with to South Africa and the guys got scared. But the baboons were not.

Guy1: Have you seen how sloppy is KKR’s fielding?

Guy2: Yeah, lack of inspiration.

Guy1: Hmm.. The captain himself has butterfingers.

Guy2: Nah! The team owner. Look at other teams like Punjab and Rajasthan. They get nice hugs after the matches. Remember how a guy had cried out on the field last year just because he did not get a hug. Incentives matter a lot. Are we working now? No. Why? Lack of incentives. Lack of inspiration. Simple.

Any sort of resemblance of guy2 with the blog owner is a mere co-incidence. Today’s match is between Mumbai Indians (my team) and Delhi Daredevils (wifey’s team). Looking at the current form of players of both teams, her team is going to thrash my team it seems. If her team wins I will have to cook the dinner and if my team wins then I will have to sleep on the couch. A contra-win-win situation eh? Quite an inspirational thought to leave for home.

She & Me – Part VI

This one was lying half-written since many days. The incident took place back about… mmmm 5 months back.

‘She’ is an ex-colleague of ‘Me’.

She (somewhere in her office): Hello!

Me (at his desk): Hey! Long time eh?

She: Yeah, loads of work in the new company :-(. Congrats on your engagement.

Me: Thanks :-)

She: Though it is hard to believe that YOU are getting married and that too with her

Me: He he he... nice guys get nice girls :-P

She: Nice girl I totally agree but nice guy?? *ahem*

Me: Ok ok.. how are you doing after your marriage? I hope you don’t beat your husband if he doesn’t cook well :-P

She: Grrr!! Anyways, marriage date?

Me: April first week.

She: Ohh… I won’t be able to attend :-(

Me: Why???

She: Will be on my honeymoon that time :-)

Me: You got married long time back! Honeymoon in April?

She: Well, we thought it is better to practice first at home and then go on a honeymoon. It is better to fail at home in the initial days rather than on a honeymoon :D

Me: Ha ha.. nice nice! I hope you guys have practiced a lot then :-P

She: Where are you guys going for your honeymoon?

Me: Nowhere! I mean we don’t have enough leaves sanctioned so joining back office after all the wedding functions are over

She: Liar! You changed your mind and want to practice first at home, isn’t it? :-P

Me: He he he…

 

Latest news is that ‘Me’ still hasn’t got any leaves sanctioned for a vacation but prefers to say that he is practicing because practice makes a man perfect :D

Edit:

Graffiti line for my whiteboard:

Did you know that a seven day honeymoon makes one week?

True Lies

We have heard and read so many tales (some true and some made-up) of professors having trouble with English grammar. The stories like "I have 2 daughters, both are girls" or "Ssshh! The principal has just passed away" when the principal was passing by the classroom, are a few of the famous ones. Today a guy from another team joined us for lunch and somehow the discussion went on to this English speaking ability. An anecdote shared by him…

During his engineering days a classmate of this guy wanted to go out so he faked illness and took permission from the professor to go home. Unfortunately for him the lady professor spotted him the very same evening roaming in the city. The next day the lady asked him to stand up in the class and said"Tell the whole class the truth that you were lying on me yesterday."

Like the class on that day, our canteen was roaring with laughter today.

Life is a circus

A tête-à-tête with a circus clown…

How is the circus life?
Tough! Less people are coming to watch the circus these days and survival is becoming a challenge every day.

Why did you become a clown?
I like to make people laugh. Seeing a smile on the faces of people is a wonderful thing.

But if your life is so tough how do you manage to be content by making people smile? And more importantly how do you manage to make them smile if your life is sad?
Hmm… interesting question. The people who come to watch a circus do not share the sorrows of their lives with me. But I am aware that they are here to forget all that and have a good time. A clown’s important task is to make them forget all the pain and keep them smiling from the moment they enter the circus tent till the moment they step out. You know sandalwood? When you rub a sandalwood piece it gives out a nice smell. We clowns remember this and even when our lives are not so happy we make sure to make our customers happy. At the end of the day, we neither know the suffering of people coming here nor we share any of our problems with them, so what really matters is the sharing of a few smiles which gives me a peaceful sleep at night. I think everyone should be like a clown in their lives – expect less and give more.

I walked out a bit wiser from that short conversation. A joker is important in a circus and a pack of cards as well. Are you a joker in your life?

She & Me - Part IV

In the midst of a hot summer month, a sudden change in weather with white and dark clouds hovering in the sky and making the atmosphere pleasant. Me and She sitting at their favourite spot and thinking about the weather…
Me: *looking at the sky*
She: *also looking at the sky*
Me: Do you know what is perfect on such a wonderful day?
She: Yes, a long romantic drive and a tight hug
Me: Well I was thinking about a big playground and a football match
She: *looks at Me*
Me: *looks at She* Do you think we will think alike anytime?
She: Who wants to think on similar lines? Forgot that opposite poles attract? *smiles*
Me: *gives a tight hug*
She: My long drive?
Me: I didn’t get my football match so you ain’t getting the drive
She: Devil!

Me: *adjusts the fake horns with a wicked smile*

I was listening to a song and a line from it goes like this
Life is a gamble boy
so you better know to play your cards right
and if you gonna take a chance

then you better know to stand up and fight

Hindi Chini, bye bye

Today morning I was going through Navdy’s post and remembered I had not seen Russell Peters perform since quite a long time now. So I went to YouTube and was watching clips of his show where he was mimicking a Chinese shopkeeper. I had to pause it in the middle as we all were called to the cafeteria for a send-off of a colleague. Currently, we are hosting 2 employees from our company branch in China and since they had worked earlier with this girl, they were also invited for the send-off (not everyone is asked to attend if that’s what you are wondering). I was sitting with my desk partner at a table when these Chinese friends enter and immediately my mind went to the Russell’s Chinese shopkeeper saying “Hey! Be a man” and I was trying hard not to laugh (on Russell’s accent, no offence meant to anyone here). Then I see the Chinese girl looking at us and telling her male friend something and they both come walking towards our table. I whispered to my friend that in case they sit here at least we should wish them a happy new year (thanks to Elaine for reminding through her post). Those guys came at our table and the guy says, “You both are Europeans?” Hearing this I just couldn’t control my laughter and almost brought the roof down. I am not sure what they both must be thinking about me but I just couldn’t stop myself that time. Last year one of my colleagues had shown me a mail from his friend. He had sent some of our group photos to his friend and she had written back to him “Great to see that you work with an American there”. I was staring at the reply with a puzzled look and the friend said “Yeah, you look like one”. Now I am confused… :D

Have a nice weekend everybody and here is a link of the video :-)

She & Me – Part III

‘Me’ is considering suing me since I am not publicizing his brushes with the ‘She’ category on this blog. I hope a trilogy would suffice since the so-called brushes are quite rare, but ‘Me’ is expecting a at least a seven-post series on lines of Harry Potter and wants me to carry it further as well. Duh!! Well I was talking with ‘Me’ yesterday and I spotted a red rash on his left arm. On enquiring ‘Me’ said it was a ‘love bite’. Sheesh! I was very much sure that it was a bite but definitely not a love bite. Prodding a bit ‘Me’ revealed this incident, which reminds me of some wafers advertisement (I forgot the product name).


She: *smiling* Hi
Me: *smiling* Hey! Did you know Sania Mirza is jealous of you?
She: What?
Me: Yeah, a bit. I had... what happened to your hand? *pointing at the bandaged hand*
She: A bee sting
Me: Bee??
She: I was in our garden with P when…
Me: Ohh! So you girls were talking about the birds and the bees in the garden *smirk*
She: *throws something* Very funny! Actually we were talking about you.
Me: *avoiding that something* Hmm… So a bee got jealous and poked you.
She: Oh God! I was working in the garden.
Me: Well bees are always attracted towards flowers *wink*
She: *blushing*
Me: That’s why I am wondering why on earth it came and stung you *sarcastic grin*
She: *frowning* Let me show you how it felt after that bite
Me: It was a joke… aaaaaaaaaggghhhh!!!


Girls won’t take sarcastic comments and boys will be boys. And thus prince charMEng stayed single.

She & Me – Part II

Let me tell you one characteristic of this ‘Me’ character. He has what he likes to call ‘photographic memory disease’ and can remember 8 out of 10 randomly already seen faces but sometimes will fail to recollect names of people he works with everyday. In his defense he says he is so fascinated with names that it is difficult to remember them. Well I never denied that ‘Me’ was a hell boring character! ‘Me’ has had many instances where he has remembered faces of people and smiled but the people couldn’t recollect his face (or at least pretended not to :D) and many many instances where the people recognized him but he couldn’t recollect their names even though their faces seemed similar. So he had decided not to smile first and wait for people to smile at him (note that is smile not laugh :D) and not to ask anyone ‘Hey were you in such-n-such college/school’ or ‘I think I have seen you before’ for the fear of being labeled as an opening line for the opposite sex. But one evening he accidentally broke the rule..


A few days back ‘Me’ entered the class which was almost packed with a few seats at the back and a few in the first row vacant. Being a back-bencher all his life he didn’t even think of sitting right under the teacher’s nose and settled down in a chair in the last but one row. Glancing through the corner of his eyes he spotted 2 girls on his right giggling over some conversation and one girl on the left chair reading some book. He hoped he was in the right class because none of the faces seemed from his batch (2-3 batches were clubbed for revision). After a few minutes:
Girl on left (She): *says something*
Me: Err.. Sorry?
She: Are you a student?
Me: *thinks that her face is similar* Well in this class yes but otherwise I am working since last 2 years.
She: Ok! It is good to see some professional because my batch had all students and they..
Me: *interrupts* Hey you were sitting in the first row in the Test Room 14 during the test on last Sunday, right?
She: *smiles uneasily*
Me: *Damn!! Looks around to find Sayesha’s rolled-up hypothetical newspaper to whack his own head*
She: Yes..
Me: I .. err.. I just recollected seeing your face. *shit*
-silence-
Me: *another person who thinks I am a stalker.. Welcome to the club*
She: Where do you work?
Me: *relieved that she is talking again* X company
She: Software?
Me: Well kind of.. what about you?
She: blah blah..


Fortunately for ‘Me’ the conversation for the next 20 odd minutes was not odd. She turned out to be a consultant in stocks and shares and luckily ‘Me’ was a bit aware of current stock market trends so the discussion was interesting. She even suggested some names of companies that ‘Me’ should get shares of for long term investment. And as Yashita wrote that it is a ‘liberating experience’ to talk to people from a different profession ‘Me’ was also happy that ‘She’ didn’t ask which platform or which domain do you work on coz ‘Me’ is fed up of software engineers asking the same thing and probably the only thing. Frankly speaking ‘Me’ neither works on any domain nor begs on any platform.. old boring joke yeah! Many a times I remember people from blogs while coming across something related to their old posts and mail them that ‘Hey look what I found or I thought of you that time when I saw/did something-something’. And after hitting the send button I always wonder that whether the person will think I am stalking them or trying to get too close to their private lives in real. Even in this post I made reference of old posts of two blogger friends.. but they have already labelled me a stalker lol.. kidding. So if I remind you something next time then please remind me to say ‘Welcome to the club’ to you :)

She & Me - Part I

My current assignment includes making calls to Presidents / Founders / Managers of companies working in CAD/CAM domain in Europe.

On a conference line between ‘Me’ somewhere in Pune (India) and ‘She’ somewhere in Parma (Italy):
Me: Good morning! I am calling from India. Can I speak to Mr. A please?
She: *something in Italian*
Me: *thinks there is disturbance in the line* Good Morning! *looks back to the clock to check whether it is morning or afternoon in Italy*
She: *again in Italian*
Me: *decides to be very simple* English?
She: No English
Me: Anyone English?
She: *something again in Italian for a long time*

Me: *hopes she isn’t swearing at me* Ok! Bye!

On a conference line between ‘Me’ same place in Pune (India) and ‘She’ somewhere in Aviles (Spain):
Me: Good morning! I am calling from India. Can I speak to Mr. B please?
She: Goooood morning! He is on holidays till 15th August.
Me: *wow what a sweet voice* Ok! Can you please take down a message for him?
She: Aahhaaaa.. yes
Me: *smiling* I am calling from X company and blah blah blah. I will call back after 15th.
She: Yes
Me: Bye! Have a nice day ahead!
She: Ooohhh thanks! You too have a nice day *giggles follow*

Me: *drools* Thanks!

Moral of the story post: I want a hot Spanish secretary with that sexy oomph in her voice.. fine I don’t own a company but still I want one. Applicants can send in a request to me for my mobile number for sending their vocal resume :D

I got engaged!

This image is for you all who asked what did I gift my mom on her birthday :P

If you got ‘misled’ by the title (no pun intended Yashita :P) let me clarify that still I definitely have around 3-4 years to utter this statement. It was my team lead who said this one fine morning last month.

Good morning Sudeep!
Hey… morning!
*shows the ring on right hand*
Got a new ring?
Yes
Cool..
I got engaged!
Really? Then why are you wearing that in right? It should be left.
For guys it is on right and for girls it is on left

Ohh.. I thought it was the other way round

Keep aside my ignorance bit and see these pics taken later. The main thing is that he got engaged to a girl within the company. Now that was not a surprise coz we already knew that and in fact we all hang out in the same group. What made me think was that this was the second instance of intra-company alliance and our company policy states that a husband and wife can’t work together. Regarding the earlier couple, not one but both of them left the organization. Now before saying that the policy is right or wrong give it a thought coz this post is coming to that point itself. (Sean I know you would oppose it at Toys R Us coz of _ _ _ _ _ ;))

I have this firm belief that it is better not to take your work, fights and affairs at home. Sort and solve them outside your house but 2 people working together in the same company are bound to discuss an issue pertaining to the workplace. Leave aside same company but a couple in the same field also might be discussing it. I don’t know how much this is prevalent abroad but here I have seen lots of people choosing their partners preferably from the same field in which they are working in. Might be 2 doctors discussing back at home:

Hey honey.. hows was ur day?
Ohh wonderful! I had never seen before a cute appendix like the one I saw today. How about you?

I did 2 successful bypass surgeries today and in another hospital one man died before we could do anything.

Now there is nothing wrong in discussing this, but professional and personal life should not be mixed much is what I feel. If any doctors are reading this please don’t feel bad and I hope you get to see at least one cute appendix everyday and go home and tell your spouse about it. On another thought, it is better to have a partner in the same company so that he/she knows how much work pressure is on the partner’s shoulders and so the “You don’t have time for me” situation doesn’t arise at home. I have a friend who works in a company where they encourage marriage among colleagues (ohh yes I have applied there already :P) and gift a car to the couple. Whenever that friend meets me I pester him by asking how much his prospects of getting a car have grown.. he he. But again ego clashes might be there (remember Abhimaan movie?).

Okk.. now you keep thinking over this while I leave for the day. Happy weekend!

(Con)fusion at Crossword!!!

A rather long post so if u don’t have time you can go to the last paragraph directly..

I had ample free time in the afternoon on one day last week and the computers on which net is accessible were busy as usual so a friend and myself decided to check out the Crossword store which is at a walking distance from the office. I had already made up my mind to buy one of the Calvin & Hobbes books and the friend also had 1-2 books in his mind. It was the first time I had gone to this Crossword branch so was quite unaware where the sections were located at this place. So ENQUIRY COUNTER 1 was the place the man at the cash counter pointed me to ask my doubts. There a gal (lets say gal no.1) was sitting tapping at the keyboard on her desk. I asked her where I would find a C&H book.

Gal No. 1: You want the whole collection or a single book?
Me: Single (I knew the whole collection costs somewhere around 7000 bucks)
Gal No. 1: Go to the Humour section located there (pointing)
Me: Thanks! The section for Shantaram?

Gal No. 1: In the Best Sellers’ section over here (pointing)

Thanking her I went off to the humour section and browsed through 3 C&H books. Finally settled for one of them and then checked out Shantaram (it is too fat). The guy whom I had come along with, A, had already taken Robin Sharma’s new arrival and was pacing here and there looking for me. I waved to him and called him over and told him that I wanted to buy Shantaram too but maybe next time or from the roadside vendor, so I was finished and we might move back to office. He said that we have to spend at least 30 more minutes there coz if we go in early then his lead would allot him extra work. Thinking how to spend time there, I remembered that the Crossword branch near my house only had plastic wrapped copies of Laetitia Casta’s book and this being a bigger branch might have one unwrapped copy. So back to the Enquiry Counter 1; another girl this time (gal no. 2); I go on:

Me: Err.. I don’t know the name of the book but it is on Laetitia Casta. Can you find it for me?
Gal no. 2: What did you say it is on?
Me: It is on Laetitia Casta.. supermodel Laetitia Casta. It probably contains her photographs and the size of the book is around this much (showing her by hands)
Gal no. 2: What is the author’s name?
Me: I am not aware of it.
Gal no. 2: So how will I find it?
Me: Well you could enter the name in that comp and probably it will give some result.
Gal No. 1 arrives there with half sandwich in hand n the other in her mouth
Gal No. 2: He is searching for some book on casting..
Me: No no.. not casting; Laetitia Casta.
Gal No. 1 nods and I am happy that she knows what I am looking for. She starts typing in the name.
Me: The spelling is wrong. It is l-a-e-t-i-t-i-a.

Gal No. 1: (munching) l-a-t-e or l-a-t-i?

Now generally if someone is munching n speaking I would tell him/her to first swallow that thing but I controlled myself and repeated the spelling slowly. The search threw up a book in the Fashion section so I followed Gal No. 2 who took me and A there. A was visibly bored by that search and was continuously asking me what I was searching for. I was explaining him who Laetitia was and how amazing she looks.

Gal No. 2: You speak marathi well.
Me: Yeah.
Gal No. 2: You don’t look like you can speak marathi.
Me: Err.. *thinking whether I have to say thanks or what*
A: Can you please leave his marathi skills and improve your skills in finding a book?
Me: *LOL* (I just couldn’t control my laughter)

Gal No. 2: *glaring at both of us*

She somehow fished out the book and gave it to us. To our luck it was an unwrapped copy so we pulled two dice shaped stools and drooled over the gorgeous photos.
A: Why don’t you buy this one instead of that cartoon thing you have taken?
Me: Look at the price of that book. It would be a delight if someone gifted me that on birthday
A: *looking at the price* Ohh.. that is expensive. Yeah someone should gift it to me too.
Me: Hey see there *pointing high up the rack* .. Pirelli photoshoot book? Wow! I wasn’t aware that they had a book besides the famous calendars.
A: What is that?
Me: Just take that book out. I used to watch the shoot on FTV.
A kept carefully the Laetitia book aside reached up there and we started seeing the pics of the models. We didn’t notice that 2 aunties had come in that section and as I saw up one of them was glaring at us seeing the assets of the models jumping out of the book.
Me: Chee chee! What type of dirty books you read A! *got up and went towards the payment counter*

A: *confused and trying to hide the book*

Now this thing didn’t end here but I got a cashier in front of me who had joined the earlier day and was not used to the software they had for billing. But since this post is becoming too long so won’t trouble you more with the conversation that went on there. That guy was literally on verge of tears and continuously said sorry for keeping me waiting. I thought in my mind ‘It is ok dude! I am working on a software for past 1 year and still find new things ‘bout it everyday. You just joined in yesterday’. Of course didn’t tell that to him.. aakhir mein Nana Patekar jaise sochna padta hain “Image Image!” By the way, I am still unaware of the Laetitia book name and author and some models definitely look better in clothes than naked (from Pirelli).

On Sunday I got to attend a kathak-salsa fusion concert and it was superb. I had seen kathak before live but had seen salsa only on screen and it was even better when they had the dancers of both the types perform together. The classical side of music had tabla, flute and a sitar while the western music was with guitar, drums and synthesizer. The flutist and the drummer were awesome. If my friend is reading this then it was really nice attending the program and yes I was not bored at all since you feared that. If my friend is not reading this even then it was nice lest anyone would point that out.

The pics blog has finally been updated with pics from the trip and a few earlier ones. I don’t understand why blogger should have word verification for writing posts. Also does anyone know how to connect Hello software and beta blogger? I am not able to use Hello for beta blogger. Happy Navratri to all and may Goddess Durga bless us all. Have a good time playing dandiya.

Take it sportingly :)

South African team celebrating

12th March 2006 will definitely be written in Golden letters in sports history n I was lucky enough to be a witness to tht. South Africa beat the world champions Australia in the final one-day cricket match to clinch the series 3-2. Tht itself is big n wht makes it bigger is the score they chased. Australia had put on 434 runs on the scoreboard n such a huge score is unassailable in all terms of cricket. But, the SAFs’ proved it wrong n came up with 438 which included a scintillating display of strokeplay n superb catches. I m not gud at match analysis, so if u want to read a in-depth analysis visit Tarun’s blog. I m sure he will write on it (or might have already published it). Read Harshal’s blog for Formula 1 scenario. He has a gud post on the new championship race with info on all teams. Yesterday’s race confirmed Renault’s emerging domination but Schumi’s fans r happy to see the Red colour back on the podium.

Sunday was overall a gr8 day for sports lovers. Aust-SA cricket one-day match, F1 season’s first race, Arsenal-Liverpool showdown n India-England Test match… one should have a TV showroom to see all this at one time. Doordarshan (DD), our government channel proved once again tht it is very pathetic to watch. Has anyone watched ‘Aankhein’ on DD? Might be more bashing on this some other day. But, when it comes to showing highlights DD does not know the difference between highlights and live match. TV audience wants to see how wickets fell and how the batsmen blasted the bowlers. They don’t expect to see how a captain sets his field and how a batsman waits for the 12th man to bring him a spare pair of gloves.

Rahul Dravid (India’s captain) is setting the field according to bowler Irfan Pathan’s need. DD zooms in the camera on both of them get close to decide on whom to set on which position. The conversation caught is courtesy lip-reading skills…

IP: It is hot today.
RD: (eyeing suspiciously) Were u watching Brokeback Mountain last night in the hotel when rest of us were busy watching dancers in the strip-club?
IP: Stupid! I am talking about the atmosphere. I was practising on bowling last nite. Wht ‘bout the fielding strategy?
RD: I don’t think we will need it. Look at both the batsmen. They are not gonna keep their eyes on the ball u bowl.
IP: Wht makes u think like tht?
RD: The batsmen r staring at our wicketkeeper Dhoni. They think tht we have a gal as wicketkeeper. Long hair is definitely beneficial to the team.
IP: (sad smile) Yeah! Girls r going crazy ‘bout his locks. I seem to have lost the title of Most Eligible Bachelor to him. U know after the incident of the 2 gals who had come to my house for marrying me, no one has yet knocked my door. Even the count of fan mails has fallen down. Parthiv (ex-wicketkeeper) was better. He even carried our entire luggage and we could hit him in frustration when we used to lose a match.
RD: I m still wondering why the gals who had come to ur house did not …
IP: (cuts him off) Are Harbhajan and Laxman again fighting?
RD: Where? I can’t see them. My eye-sight is getting weaker day by day. I had told my parents tht I wanted to marry an ophthalmologist but they forced me to marry a General Practitioner.
IP: (points in tht dirn) There… they r fighting ever since tht Ganguly issue raked up.
RD: Hmmm… Greg (coach) is a dumbo. Ganguly is earning so much through advertisements and might feature in some movies also. Yet Greg said tht Ganguly wanted to remain captain for financial reasons.
IP: I am wondering wht will happen of all the established players if Greg keeps on experimenting the team n bringing in new faces.
RD: Thts why I have started to play fast nowadays. Wasim Jaffer plays even slower than me. When I play along with Wasim, I feel like I m Dhoni blasting the bowlers at the rate of 2 runs per over. Time to re-read Who Moved My Cheese?
IP: Hmmm… U know why I didn’t come to the strip-club yesterday. I was busy teaching ‘Bhangra’ to Greg. He said he didn’t look gud in the news channels last time doing the bhangra jig.
RD: But wht has to do with ur bowling?
IP: Not with bowling but it has to do with my place in the team. Munaf Patel also bowls pretty well.
RD: Ohh!! I forgot tht newbie.
IP: Shall we send Kumble near the boundary line?
RD: Yeah.. we will give him rest till he retires.
IP: I think he will quit now after reaching the 500 wickets landmark.
RD: Why are the batsmen not asking for bad light? I want to finish off this soon n want to catch with the next episode of Takeshi’s Castle on POGO.
IP: But, it is shown again at 11 in the night.

RD: But at tht time I have to see Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii. I luv Ekta Kapoor’s soaps.
Irfan faints on hearing this n DD takes a commercial break reminding us tht it is time to switch channels.

The above is not intended to hurt anyone’s sentiments. Not of gals who r crazy ‘bout cricketers n guys crazy ‘bout the game of cricket n ofcourse espescially not of DD lovers. :))

Scribblings on the wall (ppr)

This morning I came to office n suddenly this struck me. So I opened this pic n wrote a few lines on it. A few minutes later the pic was set as wallppr on my company machine. Till lunch my Project Manager saw this n the following conversation took place betn us. The lines in the brackets are wht I wanted to say but just kept it in my mind. Now this man always asks me the names of actresses I put up on my desktop..

PM: Sudeep n a guy on desktop.. i hope everything is allright ... haha

Me: Ha ha (forced a smile) .. everything is ok.. btw, it is my pic (even if i keep an actor's pic on my screen how do i turn gay???)

PM: Oh is it? Didn't know u looked so gud in pics

Me: Ha ha.. gud joke.. but cant help it

PM: n wht have u written here?

Me: (Dont tell me u can read... i have read enuf of mails 'bout dumb PMs')

PM: Ha ha.. i hope tht is not true

Me: It is true

PM: Wht??

Me: I mean I do sleep on weekends... ;P

PM: I was talking 'bout the 2nd line

Me: Tht is just my creativity oozing out (How can i steal ur weekdays job)

PM: better be just tht..

Me: (Actually i had added 'till appraisal' to the second line but then on second thoughts removed tht part.. hello where r u going?? Dont u have enuf brains to get the idea tht i want a raise.. hey.. listen)

But, he went away... :(

Marriages are made in heaven.. or is it Taj Blue Diamond

Came from Kashid on Sunday night (more on the outing in next post). Was totally void of energy but somehow got up on Monday n went to the office. After coming to the office I noticed in the washroom how horrible I was looking (tht day). The french beard i had was almost covered by the rest of unshaven part. Had worn a tee n a old pair of loose jeans, which could have easily slipped off if the belt was not in place. Could find no excuses for avoiding the work which is piling up, courtesy the pre-poned schedule of execution phase (I hate preparation phase now). Somehow as the day was reaching to an end, I got a call. (Not frm God like in 1 nite@Call centre coz i dont work there)


Anyways, the call was frm home. Mom was telling me to have food outside coz she was going to attend a marriage in Taj Blue Diamond. My mom has now stopped asking me to accompany for the marriages since last 4 years. Lets begin frm there...FLASHBACK --- I am originally a Rajasthani. But, our generations have settled in Maharashtra n 99% of my frnds are Maharashtrians since childhood. So, except the language i dont know anything about my supposedly native place. Now, in our community marriages used to take place in childhood. After modernisation has come into place, the age level has increased. But, still in some families gals are married off at 'bout 18 n guys around 20-21. Luckily my parents r not in this grp of thinkers n have not given a thought for mine. So, whenevr I went to attend marriages around 4-5 yrs back, I was cornered by ppl eager to give their daughter's hand. I m very opposed to this system n so after attending one such marriage, came home n a swear word slipped frm my mouth against an elderly person. So tht was the beginning of my mom not asking me to accompany later for any marriages (including my cousins')... n I am still grateful for tht.


So I agreed to have food outside (though frankly I wanted to go to Blue Diamond.. but no) n resumed my work. Around 20-25 min ltr my mama (maternal uncle) called me up n said tht he was waiting below my office n wanted me to come down. When I went there, he was in a car sitting with my mom n mami (uncle’s wife). They all were going for tht wedding nhe was insisting tht I too go along with them. I explained to him tht I was in no mood for attending a wedding but he didn’t budge. So I pulled on a sweater n went along. (I mean went up the stairs, luckily had a sweater in my locker n then went down) The hotel was buzzing with ppl in resplendent clothes which made me more n more awkward n giving me the feeling of being an odd man out. Soon enuf as the news spread tht Dr. Sharma’s son who has finished his graduation n is currently working is here.. I was literally dragged in a corner by 2 men n then started a barrage of questions Wht I was doing currently n then the date of birth n stuff like tht. In the mean time I was thinking how to while away 1 more hour so I started looking frm the corner of my eye at a grp of gals hoping to find a gud looking one n coincidentally she being one of those men’s daughter. But to no avail… atleast tht would have kept me busy during the wedding ceremony. Generally I restrain myself frm cracking jokes in front of such ppl, but then one of those gentlemen seemed cool enuf to bear tht so.... My mom had told him tht I wanted to study further for my PG n had no intention of marrying so soon. He countered tht with saying tht the right age for a boy to marry is 20-21. I shook his hand n said tht “I am desperate for marriage since last year but my mom wont let me think of it. Pls tell her to let me marry” n after saying tht took off frm there to meet another relative. I didn’t dare to look back at mom’s face… he he he. The wedding ceremony was over n when my turn came to congratulate the couple I was confused to whom to hand over the gift. Simply coz I wasn’t aware frm whose side I was attending. Lolzzz. But since the bride was shy n looking down (they have to act like tht???) I handed the gift to the groom, had food n then left for home.


Don’t know whether I will be attending any marriages in near future but…

Old ppl used to annoy me at weddings by pinching my cheeks n saying u r next. But they stopped doing tht when I did the same to them at funerals