Every story has a line..

and every line has a story

One of my colleagues requested me to keep all my whiteboard lines saved somewhere and this is one place where I can easily do it though I have been clicking them as and when I change them. But some of the lines which came into my mind but did not make it to the board have to be mentioned somewhere. So here is first part of the lines I can remember.. will be updated as and when I have new ones. Disclaimer: I think all the lines are original but if there is any copyright infringement then yeah go ahead and sue me. Just make sure that I win the case :p. Many say that some of the lines are obscene but I would defend myself by saying that many say pornography is obscene but there are people who say it is an art. It is just a matter of one’s perception :D

It is almost 2 years that I had put up this one on my desktop in office and later had created a good one by merging some pics but sadly it got lost during the machine upgradation. But later didn’t do anything using pics until last week. It has been two and half years in this company and I am sitting in the same place since the first day and have had more than a dozen cubicle partners till date. Even now as teams are being shuffled people are being shifted to different places. So I used one of my childhood pics and added to it..

If you sit in the same place for a long time, you start thinking that you are the king.. or you really turn into one :-)

Sometime back my friend had forwarded me a text message which read..
‘Board outside a red light area: Married men not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy.’
This message had me smiling for its sheer creative brilliance. Later I wrote..

Seen outside a whore-house: Tit for that

I have been attending workshops of my class on weekends, and trust me after every workshop I feel attempting the upcoming CAT exam is even more difficult. One such geometry workshop later we guys came out swearing and some of us decided to grab a beer at a nearby bar. I too joined in coz it had a TV set and India-Australia match was being aired. Since I don’t drink one of my friends came up with a nice nickname for me, ‘tea-toddler’ instead of teetotaler.. he he. I remember someone asking me in a party the reason for not drinking. “Driving?” he had asked. I had said, I don't drink so that the sloshed up gals have a sober guy to make out with, which later went on the whiteboard. Now you know why the gals were drinking a lot that night ;-)

Then there was a government ban in some country on kissing and my take on that had left Keshi & Kathy hot.. with anger of course :D
If it is not allowed to kiss in public places is it ok in private...?

Ha ha.. I got the most brickbats in company for this one.

Pam and Rick got a marriage license this week and there was a discussion in my cubicle on the movie King Solomon’s Mines so..
If you can’t be King Solomon then give a try to be Rick Salomon

If you don’t know who Rick Salomon is then you will have to catch the next flight to fly down to Paris and stay for one night there :D

Have a nice weekend :-)

She & Me – Part II

Let me tell you one characteristic of this ‘Me’ character. He has what he likes to call ‘photographic memory disease’ and can remember 8 out of 10 randomly already seen faces but sometimes will fail to recollect names of people he works with everyday. In his defense he says he is so fascinated with names that it is difficult to remember them. Well I never denied that ‘Me’ was a hell boring character! ‘Me’ has had many instances where he has remembered faces of people and smiled but the people couldn’t recollect his face (or at least pretended not to :D) and many many instances where the people recognized him but he couldn’t recollect their names even though their faces seemed similar. So he had decided not to smile first and wait for people to smile at him (note that is smile not laugh :D) and not to ask anyone ‘Hey were you in such-n-such college/school’ or ‘I think I have seen you before’ for the fear of being labeled as an opening line for the opposite sex. But one evening he accidentally broke the rule..


A few days back ‘Me’ entered the class which was almost packed with a few seats at the back and a few in the first row vacant. Being a back-bencher all his life he didn’t even think of sitting right under the teacher’s nose and settled down in a chair in the last but one row. Glancing through the corner of his eyes he spotted 2 girls on his right giggling over some conversation and one girl on the left chair reading some book. He hoped he was in the right class because none of the faces seemed from his batch (2-3 batches were clubbed for revision). After a few minutes:
Girl on left (She): *says something*
Me: Err.. Sorry?
She: Are you a student?
Me: *thinks that her face is similar* Well in this class yes but otherwise I am working since last 2 years.
She: Ok! It is good to see some professional because my batch had all students and they..
Me: *interrupts* Hey you were sitting in the first row in the Test Room 14 during the test on last Sunday, right?
She: *smiles uneasily*
Me: *Damn!! Looks around to find Sayesha’s rolled-up hypothetical newspaper to whack his own head*
She: Yes..
Me: I .. err.. I just recollected seeing your face. *shit*
-silence-
Me: *another person who thinks I am a stalker.. Welcome to the club*
She: Where do you work?
Me: *relieved that she is talking again* X company
She: Software?
Me: Well kind of.. what about you?
She: blah blah..


Fortunately for ‘Me’ the conversation for the next 20 odd minutes was not odd. She turned out to be a consultant in stocks and shares and luckily ‘Me’ was a bit aware of current stock market trends so the discussion was interesting. She even suggested some names of companies that ‘Me’ should get shares of for long term investment. And as Yashita wrote that it is a ‘liberating experience’ to talk to people from a different profession ‘Me’ was also happy that ‘She’ didn’t ask which platform or which domain do you work on coz ‘Me’ is fed up of software engineers asking the same thing and probably the only thing. Frankly speaking ‘Me’ neither works on any domain nor begs on any platform.. old boring joke yeah! Many a times I remember people from blogs while coming across something related to their old posts and mail them that ‘Hey look what I found or I thought of you that time when I saw/did something-something’. And after hitting the send button I always wonder that whether the person will think I am stalking them or trying to get too close to their private lives in real. Even in this post I made reference of old posts of two blogger friends.. but they have already labelled me a stalker lol.. kidding. So if I remind you something next time then please remind me to say ‘Welcome to the club’ to you :)

News past 12:00

Mom has gone out of station for a few days and I have been eating out in the afternoons since then. This time I have a few colleagues with me who hate the mess food so we have been trying all the veggie dishes in the ‘hotel lane’. I call that a hotel lane because there are around 15-20 hotels in a single lane and all are full to the max during lunch hours courtesy the huge number of offices around. Now the gravy used for preparation is not much different but I have so far liked all the dishes, which I generally avoided till now. But I must confess that I really dislike Dal Tadka. Now it is surprising coz I like my dal with that tadka at home but in those hotels I just don’t like to eat that. In the nights I have been trying my hand at a few things and so far only once I forgot to put in salt otherwise the food is.. err let’s say edible! :)

I am a member of a group blog since say 2 months; in case you failed to notice the 3rd blog in my profile coz we generally don’t look at the profile. Now this blog has some rules that a member can’t be inactive for more than 3 weeks (there is a specific topic given for writing over those 3 weeks). After joining I did an intro post and later the 2 topics which came up were not of my taste and neither had I the time to try to write on them. So the lull period lasted for 6 weeks and the latest topic was something on which I wrote today and when I opened my mailbox I saw that the topic had ended yesterday night itself. Now I am sure I will be kicked out from there especially when the new topic is ‘10 things about me’ coz I don’t think I can write 10 things on me. Life is an irony.

While we are talking about irony I remembered that isn’t it an irony that a hair clinic has a male receptionist who is bald. Or is it something that they are trying to make us think that see he didn’t get treatment and landed here, so you better take it? I tried to take a pic of that guy but then feared that he might not like it and can pull off my remaining hair in a fit of rage :P

I got this hilarious pic in a mail. Also I have written on my whiteboard:
We workers’ are like sperms; only one works in a million. Rest assured, I am NOT the one

I think such sarcastic statements make a remarkable impact on the seniors especially when this is appraisal time ;).

Many a times we all have heard from girls that guys can’t read between the lines. I would say guys are better in this and in fact gals don’t get hint.

Since we are on girls, I mean we are on the topic of girls; I would like to point out that the girl sitting on the chair next to me in yesterday’s class was trying to flirt with me. She was really hot and she was continuously bending and touching her hair on my arm and then glancing with a sweet smile. Well I just fidgeted uneasily in the chair just because her boyfriend was in the chair next to her and he was like over 6 feet and around twice my size. He would have easily kicked my ass right there. Moral: I need to do weights seriously rather than just running on the treadmill :D. The English teacher I mentioned earlier looks like Suchi (a fellow blogger). Just for the record I confirmed with Suchi that she is not related to the teacher, so I can now do a separate post on the class without any doubts in my mind.

That’s all for the night boys and gals (SRK-KBC one episode effect) and will catch you later. Now I have to go home and kiss my wife?? WTH! I am glad that show ended well before I start to come home early.