Is it aufen or auften

Last Saturday I had gone to Sinhagad with frnds… n on Sunday whizzed down the Pune-Mumbai expressway. I was thinking tht I had spent gud time on the weekend when I got this dream. Now, let me make it clear tht I never get nightmares but this one was weird. A Bollywood film director came in my dream n said “Who gave u permission to enjoy ur weekends?? U have been sent to earth n assigned the role of watching sick Bollywood flicks whenever u get free time. Now, u betta catch a movie or else I m sending some goons frm my known Dubai contacts to ur home. I assure u tht they will put u to sleep forever”. This was enuf to wake me up frm my deep slumber n immediately contacted some ppl to join me for a movie the next day itself.

You see I m really helping all the bollywood junta by watching a movie a week…. otherwise how the hell will they feed their families. I m sooo generous. Add to it tht I don’t watch movie alone (don’t be surprised…. some ppl do watch movies alone) n this time I took 4 frnds alongwith. So tht means we spent 500 bucks only on the movie tickets. I m really expecting a big THANK YOU card frm the director for this… unless he reads this post further.

The movie was Aksar (Often) n by the time the audience could co-relate the story to the title the movie (bet u rechecked the title of the post) had come to an end or else the ppl left midway. I tell u ppl don’t have gud taste in movies. I will reveal the story alongwith the very superb plot here… so if anybody still wants to watch this movie shld not read further n directly go to the next colour change. Emraan Hashmi plays the role of a photographer who sleeps with every model he shoots. Now he doesn’t have a big house to accommodate all the gals so but obviously he shoos them away in the morning. Udita Goswami hates this guy coz of the reasons mentioned n he also ditched her best frnd Tara Sharma. 3 years later Dino Morea offers a huge sum to Emraan for seducing his wife so tht he can get a divorce. No prizes for guessing tht Dino’s wife is Udita. Also no prizes for guessing tht Emraan n Udita fall in luv n try to snatch away Dino’s multi-million property. But, smarty Dino uses a trap n gets Emraan killed n Udita behind the bars for the same. Later he zips away to sleep with Tara. Tarara.. ta.. ta.. ra .ra .ra ..ra. END of the movie.

No need to mention tht there r more kissing scenes than the total no of dialogues. The first kiss starts in the 3rd minute n continues till like 10 min before the end. So tht leaves the first 2 n last 10 minutes of acting. But, Emraan n Udita in the first 2 min n Dino n Tara in the last 10 assure u tht u wont get tht. It is like expecting a beggar to return ur alms with interest… not only simple but compound too. The only best part of the movie is the songs. I luv them…. inspite of Himesh’s nasal oooooo…oooooo.

Some of the real film critics have called this film a flop at the box-office. But, let me tell u the findings of my investigative team (yes I have one). Leave aside the box-office, the director is currently minting money. He has created pirated copies of the movie n selling them in local gyms n to the Indian shotput team. A recent study has shown tht the way Emraan n Udita seduce each other, dance n swing reduces weight almost instantaneously. They have added a totally new dimension to the dull exercise regime. The shotput team is replaying all the clips of Udita throwing vases n anything which she lays her hands on. Rest assured India will definitely bag atleast 1 gold medal in the next Olympics. Latest updates are tht Pune’s famous gyms Endurance n Talwalkars’ r fighting for rights to distribute the pirated cds’. For more updates on this, keep watching this space.

Now, I can sleep peacefully :))